By ForeZorba; Article published in STAYFIT MAGAZINE- July 2014
Quite for sure everyone would have felt anger certain point of time in their life. For some of them it’s non-problematic and for some of them its disastrous and ruining their happiness and much realizing the meaning of the famous adage for every minute of anger you loose sixty seconds of happiness. And everyone wants happiness and tries to get it whatever it takes. So managing anger is of utmost important as it erupts when you get strong feeling when something happens that you think is bad and unfair. Now its way of expression of it that creates uneasiness in your life.
Controlling of anger is achieved by bringing three steps in your system. It starts with the awareness of the causes which brings in, this emotion, in you. Understanding of one’s own cognitive behavior is of immense help. The understanding of this can be achieved with effective study of one’s own psychology by introspection or talking with friend or professional. They need to be able to recognize their specific thought, feelings and behaviors which exacerbate feelings of anger and lead to aggressive behavior.
Now self-coping strategies is devised which include challenging thoughts, reducing psychological arousal and modifying behavior. All the time while charting out strategies, make one which suites you best. Think on the aspect that you are getting anger so you are required to work on that.
The third step is crucial as one has to practice it evenly and required to bring it in one’s lifestyle. Once coping strategies made a footing in your system, continue working on that so that more adaptive forms of behavior come out. Healthy lifestyle gives a push in development, resulting in an ability to think and therefore act more positively.
In today’s world now anger management is not with choice but compulsion, as a lot of things support in coming out it like environmental, social, competition to name a few. And uncontrolled anger effects severely leaving a mark in life. It has both effect physical as well emotional.
Physical effects: Anger causes injury, increased adrenalin surges, high blood pressure, and increased heart rate; possibly producing stroke, and heart attacks.
Emotional effects: Anger creates intense guilt, feelings of failure, depression, constant agitation, violent rage, and possibly suicide.
Some of the regular tips which one can adopt to control it effectively are:
• Watch your breath:
• Watch the flow of breath in your body. Whenever psychological arousal starts in you the course of breathing also changes. So watching it and exhaling deeply reduce the chances of expression in undesired manner.
• Douse with water:
• Drinking a glass of water by gulping it slowly douses the simmering fire of anger inside. Take the sip of water, swirl in the mouth, and gulp it with awareness.
• Paralyze your tongue:
• Don’t speak while you are angry. You don’t know that for your said word you will regret. So its better start counting one to ten, if more angry than one to hundred and even more than backward counting from hundred to one.
• Be just ear:
• With continuing previous tip become like a recorder and listen what other is saying. It can happen that with right listening you can get whole context or the point of arousal.
• Walk for change:
• Start walking outside or away from the spot where you were catching anger. Changing place or situation is a good diversion from building heat up.
• Pray or meditate:
• Chant a mantra or the name of person with whom you always feel calm to regain inner peace. Meditation is an effective way to sooth down your nerves always. A regular practice of meditation keeps your coolness till a greater extent.
• Dip in music:
• Listen calming music which soothes mind. Most of people believe instrumental music or Bhajan work most in such condition but it could be different for you ranging to modern one also. But its always better with listening soft music whose effect last long.
• Physical activity:
• Hit the gym or start jogging or do some physical exercises which involve actively all body part. If you feel like start dancing where there is no rule and no form just an expression. Sounds funny but it works best.
• Be futuristic:
• The words of Confucius-When anger rises think of the consequences will help you most. We tend to forget the future or the aftermath in anger, so once something starts getting on your nerve start thinking of effect.
• Be in other’s shoes:
• If you ask one simple question- if I would be in the position of that person, what could have been my feeling; but sensibly to yourself than your anger move towards a positive turn.
• Forget and forgive:
• Keep forgiving attitude always intact which in turn fills you with a lot of positivism. And in that positive mood you look out for the ways by which the cause can be hit, creating problem.
• Realistically less expectation:
• Many times you keep certain expectation which the other person can’t fulfil and hence from both end frustration piles up for one not getting it for other not delivering it. And ultimately those frustrations convert in anger which ruins relation in coming time. So it’s better to expect less and be happy and if getting more be happier.
• Talk to wise person:
• Sometimes its of immense help to talk with a friend about your anger problem. But while choosing this friend be careful who can show you the cause of your anger problem and the way out from that.
• React assertively:
• If it’s necessary to express your anger put it assertively rather than aggressively. Use your analytical ability and phrase your word profoundly keeping convincing approach
• Be positive always:
• An attitude of positivism always keeps you in high spirit and never let you go in any mundane and unproductive affair. Nothing can surpass a positive outlook eternally.